


Drive to Goa - the Director's Cut aka Five Times Sameer Wanted to Kill Akash and One Time He Didn't

by grus



Category: Dil Chahta Hai - Fandom
Genre: Chromatic Character, Chromatic Source, Chromatic Source Creator, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-12-20
Updated: 2010-12-20
Packaged: 2017-10-13 21:54:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/142104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grus/pseuds/grus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>During the trip to Goa Akash seems to have set out to do everything to annoy Sameer. Can he make it up to him? Gen freindship fic with only a slight slashy hint at the end (and only if you choose to see it that way).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drive to Goa - the Director's Cut aka Five Times Sameer Wanted to Kill Akash and One Time He Didn't

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Scribe](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scribe/gifts).



> Because one montagey song does not cover the epicness of driving almost 600km with Akash ;)

I  
Driving to Goa was not supposed to be a chore. It was the done thing. The thing each graduate ought to do to celebrate getting out of college. Well, maybe the being there and laying around in the sand part was the celebratory one, but definitely not driving there. Or at least not when one was with Akash. In a confined space. Driving for almost 600km. In the heat. Well, there was Sid with them too, which was to be expected, as the three of them were together almost 24/7. Yes, Sid would provide at least a semblance of sanity, and maybe, just maybe, he'd be able to pacify Akash. Or a least so Sameer hoped. Not that he didn't like Akash; he loved him. They had been best friends for years. But sometimes, just sometimes best friends grated on each others nerves... and he swore to God, that if Akash didn't stop making that slurping noise with his straw he would have to strangle him with it. Or rather poke out his eye, as the straw was probably too short to be used as a garotte. Or maybe just poke out his own eye and die. And maybe then get some sleep. Having been pulled out of bed at an ungodly hour, by Akash (who else?), did not make his mood any better.

  
II  
Ah, the golden oldies. His favourite mix tape prepared which such love and care. All his favourite Rajesh Khanna and Dev Anand hits were there. He had listened to it a thousand times. It worked as a sort of pep talk before a date, but also when he just wanted to unwind. And right now that was what he needed. Apparently, though, someone had their own opinion on the artistic merit of the mix. They were in the middle of Gata Rahe Mera Dil from Guide, and suddenly he heard a clicking sound, followed by silence. He opened his eyes (he had the habit of listening to music with them shut), and saw Akash staring intently at the label of the tape. “God, don't you have anything non-filmi, or at lest newer with you? This sounds like something even your grandmother would find too stale to listen too”, Akash as usual, had to share his opinion even when no one asked him for it. “As if you hadn't watched a fair share of Bollywood in your life!”, replied Sameer indignantly – Akash could really be a hypocrite when he wanted to. “Of course I did. They are an infinite resource for cheesy pick up lines, after all. And for some girls cheesy works best. I distinctly remember one girl falling for me after I'd called her the queen of my dreams, or was it a heavenly fairy? Not sure any more. Anyway, worked like a charm”, he bragged, one of his obnoxiously smug grins twisting his lips. Sameer could just groan and, at a loss for words, stare at Akash with murderous intent. Thankfully Sid proved his diplomatic skills hadn't gone rusty, and pulled out his trusty Best of Shankar–Ehsaan–Loy CD. It was the perfect compromise between filmi and modern western music. After he discovered that this was the only sort of filmi music Akash could bear, and one that still satisfied Sameer's craving, it would never leave the honorary spot in his glove compartment.

  
III  
Making a stop at that petrol station had been like hitting the jackpot. The weather was insufferably stuffy, and having a cold, freshly taken out of the fridge soda in hand was a priceless feeling. That was until it was forcefully taken away from him by his neighbour. “Akash! You have your own, why are you taking mine?”, screeched Sameer, his voice high-strung with annoyance. “Correction, I had my own. I already drank it”, replied the offender, without the slightest hint of remorse. “So is that not enough for you?”, pleaded the victim. “It's not for drinking; it's for my eye, it still hurts. Pressing something cold to it helps”, was the blatant explanation. “You got what you'd asked for. You should not have been hitting on an engaged girl!”, reproached Sameer. “Where's your sense of adventure? Where's the challenge in hitting on one that's not engaged?”, Akash gave him a mischievous wink. His insolence had no limit! “My sense of adventure is fine. I feel adventurous enough when you make a spectacle out of yourself, and drag me into it!”, Sameer shuddered at the memory of everyone staring at him at the disco. “Guys just keep quiet and let me take in the sights, would you? I plan on sketching some of this. Just give him back his can, we'll buy you some ice later”, Sid's voice was stern, but his eyes sparkled with fondness. Sometimes he felt like an older brother to his friends. “Yes, sir!”, was the simultaneous reply of the duo, followed with laughter.

IV  
“Guys, I miss her”, Sameer's sudden confession made his friends jump. Everyone had gotten spent with the journey so far, so they had been driving on in companionable silence for more than half an hour. “Miss who?”, Akash asked, stifling a yawn. “Priya! Who else?!”, God, how could the one responsible for the break-up be so utterly clueless? “You said you were over her”, he shrugged. “When did I do that?”, Sameer stared at him in disbelief. “In the morning, when I once again clearly explained why she wasn't right for you”. Akash was clearly unmoved by all this as he was more busy with inspecting his nails than coming up with a more comforting answer. And why should he be? The tragic lover would find another “love of his life” before the day was over. He could bet his right arm on that. Their going to Goa, the land of foreign chicks in bikinis, sealed the deal. “Your nagging made me say that! Now I'd thought it over and it's not so simple. Why are you always making her out to be some sort of an evil witch?”, Sameer was not going to give up so easily. “Because she is one. Simple”. A bout of semi-hysterical laughter followed. Akash always laughed the loudest at his own jokes. Being a self-proclaimed comedy genius was not easy, catering for the entertainment of both himself and others was quite the task. Oddly enough Sameer was not amused. “Take that back; I'm telling you!”, his voice was unusually threatening. “Or what?”, Akash just smirked insolently. “Or you'll get another black eye!”, he almost threw himself at the fiend. “From you? You wouldn't hurt a fly.”, Akash knew better than to treat that threat seriously. Sameer was no Rohit to be afraid of him. “Yes, I would... OK, no I wouldn't but still I can not talk to you”, huffed Sameer. “Fine by me as long as you stop whining.”, was Akash's “mature”, as usual, answer. Sid, who had decided to keep put of this mess, just sighed with slight exasperation. Priya would always remain a touchy subject between these two... Oh, well, a little bickering never hurt anybody, he thought, and turned up the music a bit, drowning out the sounds of the ongoing quarrel.

V  
“What is he doing?”, a disquieted Sameer whispered to Sid. “Hard to say... I think he's mimicking the sounds of a car. A fire engine maybe.”, for once even Sid was not sure how to handle the situation. Akash had been making various disquieting sounds and faces since his turn at the wheel started. Putting on his fisherman's cap made this look even more idiotic. Sameer sometimes thought something must have been missing in Akash’s childhood. Maybe he hadn’t had enough friends to play with or had been sent to a strict boarding school, and was now compensating for it. Anyway, in moments like these his theories seemed to be proven right. Uncertainly, he poked his friend in the back, to get his attention and maybe, just maybe stop the sounds. “Akash, stop it or someone will see you, and think you’re deranged!”. “Who cares, I’m just having some fun. Besides we haven’t seen anyone for miles now. Don’t be so paranoid.”, and thus he recommenced his concerto, this time mimicking what Sameer suspected was an ambulance. Sameer groaned helplessly, and addressed Sid, if someone could do something about this it was him. Sid, however, just shrugged, gave him a loony lop-sided grin, and joined Akash, pretending to be a tank engine. Great! Apparently, insanity was contagious. The desperate Sameer started banging his head on the seat in front of him. He just prayed no one would see this spectacle. Suddenly, he heard a loud bout of laughter. He looked up and saw a car with four beautiful and skimpily clad girls in it. They were pointing at his friends and laughing their heads of. He stared at them mortified, before he could recover from the shock their coming out of nowhere caused, and then turned away, hoping they hadn’t had the time to memorise his face. Wishing for the earth to swallow him, he sunk deeper into his seat, and tried to ignore the surrounding madness.

   
End  
They had been walking for about 10km but in the heat it felt more like 25. He just wanted to lie down in the middle of the road and die. Whose idea had it been to go there by car anyway? Well, at first it had not seemed so bad, but then the car just had to break down in the middle of nowhere. To make matters worse, their cells had no range. There was only one way to get help, and it meant walking to the next gas station. They decided that one of them would guard the car, and two would walk, to support each other on the way in case one of them fainted from the heat. The decision was taken democratically, as usual, meaning pulling straws. The one who got the shortest could stay. Somehow Sid won, just like he always did, the lucky bastard! Sameer and Akash had less luck. Especially Sameer felt less than enthusiastic about the endeavour, Akash having gotten on his bad side that day, even more than usual. They walked on in silence. Neither of them had the strength or will to talk. They just huffed and puffed, their only interaction for many miles being Sameer glaring at Akash with reproach. Some vacation this turned out to be!

Finally, their breath short, faces red and probably sunburnt (even though they had covered them with creams with the highest possible filter), feet raw and covered with blisters, they reached a station. It was like an oasis to a traveller lost in the desert. Sameer just ran to the nearest bench he could find, and plonked himself onto it. His feet were killing him, but his back was even worse. Probably all the sitting in the car in various less then comfortable positions and then the sudden exertion had done that to him. He just sat there groaning and rubbing his shoulders, hoping Akash would for once do the talking, instead of forcing him into it. And surprisingly so he did. After a few minutes, having called the breakdown serivce from the phone he found at the station, he came up to Sameer’s bench, soda in hand, and with a sympathetic smile passed it to his friend. For a moment Sameer just stared, wondering if this was the Akash, who had made his journey so miserable so far. He mumbled a reluctant thanks, and took the soda. “Sameer, are you ok? Let me have a look at your back.”, offered Akash. “I’m fine, there’s no need.”, Sameer was not going to admit how much it hurt. “Don’t be an idiot. You were groaning and rubbing at it half the way. Just leave it to me. I’m a professional.”, he gave his friend a wink, and stood behind his back, putting his hands on his shoulders. He started kneading at the knots, making the tension go away. At first Sameer got startled and stiffened under Akash’s touch, but then gradually relaxed into it. Akash was surprisingly adept at what he was doing, and it felt so good, the “patient” couldn’t help but let a small sigh slip his lips. “Where did you learn how to do that?”, he couldn’t contain his curiosity any more. “Well, it’s a long story, so maybe I’ll give you the full version another time, but let’s just say there was this one Thai girl, who was a really good teacher, if you know what I mean”. The leer in Akash’s voice made Sameer blush involuntarily. He was glad to be spared the grin that must have accompanied the confession, as it was likely to make him even more embarrassed. The way Akash boasted of his conquests was so shameless, even when he mercifully left out the details, that the romantic Sameer usually looked like a tomato while listening to him. Still, no matter in what circumstances his friend had learned the art of massaging, he was too good at it too let Sameer dwell upon them too long. He just revelled in the sensations, and had to admit there were times when Akash wasn’t a tool. Times like this were when he remembered why they were friends in the first place, and why when Priya had asked him to chose between her and Akash, he couldn’t give her an answer without hesitation. “You know, we should try this once with aromatic oils, then you’d enjoy it to the fullest”, was what made Sameer come back to reality. God, Akash really was going to make him die of embarrassment before they reached Goa. Better to have a short and eventful, than a long and boring life though, he thought, smiling to himself.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope you enjoyed it, dear recipient :) Although I like reading slash my experience of writing it is very limited, so I just kept it gen and friendship based with only a slight hint at the end. I might explore something more slashy with them in the future, though ;)


End file.
